Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
