it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
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