i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
