You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
hell yes lets make some ravioli
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
