can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Randomize
