we're blogging at a bar
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
