having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Randomize