I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
