I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
