This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
