Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
