so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
