I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
