I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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