Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
