PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
