Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
