Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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