I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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