It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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