He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize