Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize