Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
