did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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