Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
