my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Randomize
