yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I'm having to shit out rocks
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