I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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