There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Randomize
