so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
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