I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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