margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
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