He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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