bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Randomize
