May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Randomize
