Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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