If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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