The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
