Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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