the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Randomize