Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
