I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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