you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
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