i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize
