she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
