I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
3 2 1 whiskey
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
