so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
