I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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