Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Everything about him screamed your future.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize