I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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