We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
