Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
