I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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