yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
