If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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