That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
