my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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